And I am back in the beginning. Evaluating the infertility terrain, thinking through my options. I know so much more now than I did way back when . . . before the books, before my law practice . . . but surprisingly the feelings haven't changed. Maybe there is a little less desperation but not much. That same fear about the "what ifs?" and the "what if it doesn't work" . . . they still haunt me.
I think a lot of this has been brought on my plans to do the first revised edition of The Infertility Survival Handbook and the thought that going back into treatment for my third and last baby would be an amazing tie-in for the new edition . . . but is that a reason to open up wounds that I had maybe finally started to let scab over? And why am I so hell-bent on treatment for a third baby. Why not adopt again?
And what about the big question . . . why haven't I made that appointment with Dr. Chung if I am so serious about possibly pursuing having a third child through assisted reproductive technology. I don't get why I am hesitating so much.
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5 comments:
Because it's a huge decision. And there's so much more at play here in terms of plates spinning than there were the first time around. I don't know--for me, I think it's also addictive and I couldn't begin until I knew I was ready to take it to its ends (and we have a few stopping points where once we reach them, we're going to switch paths). I think it would have been harder for me to know we were starting something we may or may not finish.
Thanks for how you use your experiences and knowledge to help others. Rooting for you whatever way you pursue to build your family!
I think that knowledge is a double edge sword. You know to much, and as a result are rightfully hesitant.
Knowledge can be power and it can also hold you back... not knowing which way to go isn't a bad thing. You'll figure it out and -by the way thanks for writing that wonderful book it helped me get through a LOT...
Just wanted to let everyone know that my New Year's resolution is to be a better blogger. We're launching a new website with integrated blogs where I hope to be able to blog with regularity. I really appreciate everyone' support and interest. I'll let you know when we're about to make the change and launch the new site!
Liz Swire Falker
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